Tenzin was an outcast since he was nineteen. He started on drugs since he was in class eight, and since then, he was too abused and addicted to take the right move. He was hooked by what he started as a teenager's passion. Even his parents gave up on him and he didn't get enough affection from home. Since he didn't have proper guidance, he flapped around without much of a dream.It was in class ten, that his parents really got upset and turned their back on him. They tried, but they failed to make their son see what was good. Later when they tried to explain, he only abused them and stormed out of the house.Despite everything, he qualified for college, and he was soon going to college. One day, when he was walking back to college from town, he spotted a lonely girl walking before him. She was slim, pretty and gorgeous. He found himself scanning her from top to down. He caught up with her and then introduced himself. As they were walking casually to the college he found himself telling her his story. She took sympathy over him."I think you can leave your habit, if you really want to", Dema said. "It is only a matter of your will".
"God knows, I tried. I can't."
"Why don't you try just once more?"
"I've failed every time I made a move. I don't want to see myself failing again."
"There is no harm to try just once more."
To this Tenzin said that he would try. "Maybe I can this time. There was no one who cared me enough...”
Soon they started seeing each other often. She was like a counselor. She pitied him being flunked in the flood of addiction. She gave him moral support, the hope to live well, and the courage to see tomorrow.
Nothing Dema did go in vain. He sensed the change in himself. He cut down on his habits and when he was in second year, he had called a quit to it. He did well academically and became a well-fit man in the society-smart...cocky...but a decent man. So many girls eyed him with deep emotion but he had little time for them-he had already someone else in his heart. Though they spent time together on hours end, they were not aware that they were in love. Only when one day, Dema showed him a love letter from one guy from her class did he realize what he felt for her. A spasm of jealousy crept through in his heart. With the letter crumpled in his hand, he was speechless, staring blankly. Then, he took her hand in his, turned towards her and hugged her. His lips were on hers…”I love you”. He held her close to him never to let go. They belonged to their own world now. The three years of their degree completed soon…the years passed in a flash, with nothing left to worry about. They got satisfying jobs after they graduated and they were quite content with their lives. Life was easy, interesting and happy….but their happiness didn’t last long. Might be, it was never meant to.
After a year, he started coming home late. God knows where he went or what he was up to. Dema didn’t say a word. She gave him time to realize his mistake but a man who already had the dip in bad habit didn’t take so much of a thought to check his action. Though she knew he was acting strange, she feared to check up on him lest she would find the worst. But still, taking all the courage she had, she decided to find out what was wrong. And to her horror, she found drugs in his drawer, some pictures of a girl and letters (letters they had exchanged). It was so much for her to take in all at once. She knew she had to confront him. She couldn’t let him go this way. He would ruin her life too. So that evening, she waited for him in the sitting room watching some news on the TV. “Hi, so got back?” she asked. “Yeah….was busy with all the works I couldn’t put off”, he replied. “I see, you work so hard”, she retorted sarcastically. “What are you trying to say?” he looked at her sheepishly.
“I think its time we talked. Let’s not play this game…. I know what you are up to”. He only looked at her hard, not knowing what to say or where to start. What was there to say, when he knew he was on the wrong?
“Come on tell me…. Speak it out. There is nothing you have to fear. It’s easy with me; you can do anything you please. At least that’s how you take it… if you don’t know, I’m a big girl now and I know what is going on around me”.
“Umm…. I didn’t mean to do this Dema. You won’t believe me, but I really didn’t intend to do all this. If you will forgive me, I will make up. I will be a man….”“Tell me who the girl is. You guys want only these modern thugs with whom you can rock and roll, ain’t it? I should have known that I wasn’t enough for you”. He looked up at her, flared in anger. “Darn, she wanted it”. To this Dema said, “Do as you please but lemme make sure that you do this again and we are off”. He was sober and good to her only for few days. One day, he reached home ragged mad. She pushed him off when he tried to touch her and the flare-up started again. He forgot his promises. He rebuked her and luckily she escaped when he tried raising his hands on her. She was driven into misery. Grieved, torn and betrayed, she was in a dilemma. The next morning he apologized again and asked for a second chance. “I love you Dema. I’m really sorry. I know I need to quit this….and yet again, I find myself getting into it somehow and I just go mad. Dema, I love you. Please don’t leave me”. She tolerated the contempt, his rudeness and hypocrisy. But how long can anyone’s patience last? How long can anyone believe the broken promises? One day, when he was at his office, she disappeared without a note. That night, he returned home to find an empty house. When she didn’t reach even the next day, he knew she had left him. He felt dejected, depressed and too angry to do anything at that minute. He called her office to ask if they knew, but that didn’t help. When he knew, she was never coming back to him, he had only one solution. It was to terminate the root which made him lose her. It was Pema who wanted an affair. The next time he met her, he stabbed her over the quarrel they picked up. Tenzin was looking for the hinge to pick it on her. He ran away tainted with blood. But a person tainted with blood could never be cleansed. It rinsed for a while but got the color back. He fled from the scene. But could a perpetrator escape the punishment? A man got what he deserved. He was never given what he had not asked.
Now he planned to go, look for his wife. But he didn’t walk far when he spotted police men walking towards him.
Dema, sitting on the porch read the morning newspaper. The headline caught her eyes,” a man stabs a girl in frustration”. Tears welled up as she looked back to the days they lived together. The first time they met….it was all too real, all too happy. If only he knew what he had to do, everything would have been easier, happier and better. She couldn’t change the man. She wiped her tears and went in as she heard her son crying. Probably he would never know about his son……