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Showing posts from June, 2008

Talking to Myself

6:33am, Thursday, 12th June, 2008

I was awake and in bed, yawning and thinking of life. I felt vague but an urgent need to get up and unearth reality. I felt detached from everything. I felt like only thing that can give meaning was in making it real. Fuck the attachment. Why should it muddy every beautiful feeling?

"People are fucking incomprehensible."

Seeing World WITH Wider Vision

I’m not going to say, I see the world wide and clear now. It is true, we learn everyday from people we meet, things we see, and talks we hear. I think, in a few days, I have learnt so much pertaining to life. I know I haven’t learnt anything more in regard to my work. But it doesn’t mean, I have retarded to the dwarf-like structure of my work. I think, I grow. Everyone does.
I wrote “The Lesson” in, a place where I mostly share my views. I would be expressing too strong, if I say, I vent my emotions there. I don’t really do that, but once in a while, I become a protagonist who almost always loses someone or something – and ends up crying. In two days, I have learnt to respect myself. Not that I never respected myself before. But you know, sometime, in the midst of flimsy activities, you forget principles you so strongly crested in your mind. And just two days back, I have come back to sense, not much with a thud but with a cool realization. I didn’t do any wrong but I…


Have you ever gone out for shopping with girls? I am talking to men. You will realize how long you have to walk and how long you have to stand in one single shop to buy a thing. But I’m not like that – meaning, I don’t take long to buy something I like. The moment the attraction strikes, I have it in my hand before the mind alters. So…yes, it is lot simpler. I have not regretted this habit of mine so far.We were six girls on a shopping spree in Green Hills (Philippines). I didn’t have anything in my mind to buy. But many wanted to buy corals and pearls. I was with them anyway and when I had bought some eight gifts, they had not bought one single coral. So I later sat near an escalator…that was the only place I could sit; every little space was a shop. So I waited. And I waited. I think I finally had them at my heels. Finally when we were to have lunch, it was a dejected experience of not getting vegetarian food. But despite that, I think I put on weight.And the next day we went there,…