Monday, June 9, 2008

Seeing World WITH Wider Vision

I’m not going to say, I see the world wide and clear now. It is true, we learn everyday from people we meet, things we see, and talks we hear. I think, in a few days, I have learnt so much pertaining to life. I know I haven’t learnt anything more in regard to my work. But it doesn’t mean, I have retarded to the dwarf-like structure of my work. I think, I grow. Everyone does.


I wrote “The Lesson” in www.nopkin.com, a place where I mostly share my views. I would be expressing too strong, if I say, I vent my emotions there. I don’t really do that, but once in a while, I become a protagonist who almost always loses someone or something – and ends up crying.

In two days, I have learnt to respect myself. Not that I never respected myself before. But you know, sometime, in the midst of flimsy activities, you forget principles you so strongly crested in your mind. And just two days back, I have come back to sense, not much with a thud but with a cool realization. I didn’t do any wrong but I think I was thinking that I could measure life with my own yardstick and change its unit as I wanted. But I guess, I was wrong there. I forgot for a while that I was living in this world with many other humans who had same essential organs and yet differ at the same time.


I now know that, no matter – even in jest, I should not utter words that would hang hearts in mid-air. Do I sound so vague? I think for some reason, I don’t want to sound so clear. I had difficulty understanding when I read in some papers that there could be people who would draw happiness from causing harm to others. In my understanding, I could only fathom that people can have peace in their heart only if they created harmony around themselves. But now, I think I understand that there can be people who can be at sheer joy just by the pain inflicted on themselves or others. There can be people I guess, who like enduring pain. They get pleasure from the pain they endure.


I am here only to say one thing in fact. It is easier to live life when you have just one reason to live. To live to die.


In the novel “Love in the Time of Cholera” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, I read this line: “Dr. Urbino never saw her again, not even by accident, and God alone knows how much grief his heroic resolve cost him or how many bitter tears he had to shed behind the locked lavatory door in order to survive this private catastrophe. /….his heart broken but his soul at peace.”


So I think it is better to have your soul in peace than have your heart happy. I guess our hearts often are rendered more attention than required. We can tempt it and we can forget what once gave it so much pull.


The lesson is that, even when you are talking with a stranger with the light-hearted conversation of lighting hearts, there should be no smoke produced. You should remain just where you are and where you should be.

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