Sunday, 27th July, 08
I was splashed in tears. Splashed in tears. I was blinded by the earthly need that blinds wisdom. I was unhappy and I wanted to be free. But free of what? I was wishing people responded as I expected. I was craving for him to feel the need as I did. But he saw meaning and joys in different ways. It didn’t matter if we were not together.
I wished my love perished and grew in its place a purity that spread joy but didn’t stick on the object. I wished I was a person who took like at my par. Life is becoming difficult as I try to measure its worth with a borrowed unit of other’s ratings. I can’t pretend anymore. I must acknowledge that suffering is life itself; that there is no absolute joy on earth—just that in hoping that there is that joy, we get strength to bear life’s imperfections and we feel we are enjoying. It is all fake and virtual.