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Showing posts from July, 2013
26th July 2013 Dear Dechen,
It has been such a long time. I know I am starting my letter with this sentence every time. I ought to feel a little guilty for not being regular. But honestly, it doesn’t mean that I have not been involved with you, or have been less attentive to you. Like I told you, you love your grandma and you are having a very good, fulfilling days with her. I don’t have to worry that I have to leave you everyday because I am a working mother.
Not many days ago, I read an article called Marriage in Buddhism where it talks about marriage, divorce, child rearing etc. It says that what kind of person a child grows up to depends entirely on the parents and in modern times, because both the parents are working, children do not get the attention, care and love as they ought to get. It even advises that in such a situation, a mother should choose to leave her jo…

Women aren’t seen equal to men – and it will take sometime

I personally feel that in Bhutan, there isn’t much gender discrimination. I say this from my experience and not from any research. However, it seems, in reality, it exists and the notion of gender in-equality is implanted in us through our culture and it will take sometime before it changes. For example, during the recent parliamentary election campaign, when a woman politician was taking part, an old woman from a village was heard lamenting that it is sad to see that we have come to a time where, we have to rely on women to be the leaders! This made me feel a bit sad. I have always been aware that the gender in-equality in Bhutan, if at all existed bred through our culture and tradition – yet, it threw me back a bit when this reality was heard spoken.
We have the age-old saying that, ‘men are nine steps ahead of women’ (if I could translate it roughly). A household is usually headed by men, and when it comes to the meals times, they are served first. This tradition isn’t very commo…

Now, I am ‘Mama’

My two and half year old daughter has started calling me Mama now. She started it yesterday. At first, I thought she wanted to eat because we refer to food as ‘mama’. When I asked her if she wanted to eat, she said ‘no’. And then, she indicated that she was calling me. When she called me that, she had a different tone of voice and she seemed to be pleading me for attention. I was surprised that she should coin a special word that is something like a codeword between us to mean something.
Now she seems to have forgotten the word ‘mummy’ altogether. She calls me Mama. But, again, when she wants some special attention – something like a cuddle and some extra pampering, she calls me ‘Mama’ in a long, begging tone. And I melt. She knows exactly how to capture my heart. I think it is also this special bond – the change in the tone of our voice and the imploring looks that only mother and daughter understand, that make us feel closer to each other than anybody else.

We were going out to g…