26^th July 2013

Dear Dechen,

It has been such a long time. I know I am starting my letter with this sentence every time. I ought to feel a little guilty for not being regular. But honestly, it doesn’t mean that I have not been involved with you, or have been less attentive to you. Like I told you, you love your grandma and you are having a very good, fulfilling days with her. I don’t have to worry that I have to leave you everyday because I am a working mother.

Not many days ago, I read an article called Marriage in Buddhism where it talks about marriage, divorce, child rearing etc. It says that what kind of person a child grows up to depends entirely on the parents and in modern times, because both the parents are working, children do not get the attention, care and love as they ought to get. It even advises that in such a situation, a mother should choose to leave her job. That inflicted a bit of guilt in my mind, probably because I have been having such thoughts myself. However, it is impractical. You will know what I mean. But of course, it doesn’t mean that I don’t give you my love and care. I play with you as soon as I get home. We are together, building a house, making a swing for your doll, or building railway tracks. I am praying that, it isn’t less than the amount of care and love that ought to be given for a child to feel loved and cared. I do hope and pray that you will grow up to be the most sensible person.

Anyway darling, you have grown up so much. You speak Sharchop as well as English. Sometimes, you seem to speak it even better than English, though latter was your first language. It excites me to watch you play with your grandma, conversing in Sharchop. I also feel more comfortable now talking to you in Sharchop. Before I was uncomfortable because I had been speaking in English with you all along. For example, last evening, you were making a swing with a piece of cloth by tying one end to your bicycle and you were saying, ‘chhing nang phi’, to your grandma. I was surprised. This word is not something you will pick up easily. And again, you said, ‘thrik ken la’, when she warned you that you might fall down from the stool you were standing on, and fiddled to help you.

You are growing up in a fascinating way. This morning when your daddy and I were leaving for office, you gave us a hug and a kiss and said, ‘I love you’. This is how charmingly cute you are. And you melt our heart. We love you so much darling. And I tell you, you are everything we got.

Love, Mum.