Monday, June 11, 2007

Dreaming away the moments

Back to the class. My strength seems to slip away. The enthusiasm seems to falter. As I sit here, good reasons fail to make me believe. The inspirations fail to inspire. I find no use whatsoever to sit here and pretend.


As I sat comfortably, letting out my breath…I felt a calm flow of energy within me. I didn’t know what was really happening but I was perfectly happy and I wanted it to last for a long time.

In the midst of laughter and fun I stood back in total surprise. What were we doing? I thought we were wasting our time like that. I knew then that it wasn’t the way to live life. It was either to be true in our heart or risk our whole being.


I was walking by the street when I saw a cat passing the road. Suddenly a car swooped over out of nowhere and killed the cat! Do you think a notion of getting killed passed over in its mind? It wouldn’t have (like anyone of us) thought of dying that instant but it did. We bask our life in an enchanted pool of unceasing desire. Our life is uncertain as that cat’s life and it is a wonder that we could dare to risk it.

Did you ever in a while think of your death? What thought do you get when you hear someone’s death? Does it ring a bell? Does it reflect something of your life too? It is like sitting on the edge of a stiff cliff without any thoughts or fear of falling over it. Do you think you can sit there calmly? Sit there calmly? I’m sure you will find a way to get away from there or at least try finding a way to prevent from falling down. We are in much greater danger and yet, we never try to do anything about it. Don’t you wonder why? Do you think you can avoid death? Or bribe it somehow? Oh man, no we have no way to get away from it. We can only be true in our heart.


The gift of nature…if we can really find time to look closer, you will see how beautiful they are. The sun, the moon, the trees, the butterflies…the beautiful rivers and seas….everything.

Friendship is something you can’t put at stake. You live and make sacrifices but you don’t just throw friendship into fire.

Why bother him? It may not be ridiculous to him. If he wants to do this, he has the right to.

It is hard to understand how some people can be so self-centered. I mean kind of a narcissist. They cannot just hold that what is good to them may not be of the same value to others.


I was standing all alone and the world stared at me. I felt so lost. I was blank. But as I kept walking I reached a beautiful meadow with a stream flowing by its side. As I sat down, closed my eyes and let beauty sink in, I felt peace dawning on me like the first sunrays of the dawn. I felt all my worries slipping away from me.


I looked at the open door on an impulse and caught an eye of a passerby. He was all smile…such a happy face! I felt a flippant rush of guilt for not taking life seriously. I realized life is not worth mourning for. It is short and we must enjoy within that limit.

Struggle of your conscience and reason; dilemmas as to whether you should give in to your pride or be humble; whether to act yourself with grace of importance of bow low.

Never judge the other person from your viewpoint. It may be wrong because you haven’t gone through what he has and you don’t know what he is suffering from even to judge.

People gathered around me and as they stared at me I couldn’t hold their gaze. Am I a coward?


I say that I’m living…and I ask again if I am. I realize that it is not just mere survival, mere existence in this world. We aren’t really living if we aren’t serving the purpose of our being here.

It was just one magic glance and answer came in a rush.

If you can’t practice what you preach, don’t preach. You don’t have to show anyone that you know everything.

I sat there like a helpless child craving for mother’s love. I saw nothing but a bleak future. As the darkness loomed over me, I was drowned in limitless sorrow.

An innocent child sat by the roadside begging, hoping for a penny some kind heart would drop in her bowl. But she had pain written all over her face. I couldn’t wonder what made her suffer such big afflictions. What karma! What burden! What ironic fate. How could the world be so cruel not to spare the innocence to last with its beauty?

As I sat by the ocean, listening to the soft murmur of its waves, I couldn’t help wishing I could lie there forever. It was enchanting and beyond earthly existence. The feeling was more of joyful happiness than of loneliness.



Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her…I tried to hold her but it was a vain hope. It was but a dream. It was a tragedy for she was never there.

It was more of happiness than sorrow. More of joy than pain. More of love than hatred. More of light than darkness. More of understanding than ignorance. It was more of many good things.

I thought life was just that – the sheer passing of days. But a pang of regret tightened my heart for not looking deeper.

A person crazed over life can’t see beyond himself.

I don’t forget my friends. The nice things they are. Even if they turn away from me and hate me, the good things they have done always remain good. It doesn’t change. Make the little time with your friends beautiful. If they leave, you will still have those beautiful moments.

Forgiving someone isn’t letting him be. It isn’t trying to forget what someone did to you. It means trying not to mind what someone did to you.


History clings on with the present but the person changes. He no longer remains the same. If he makes a mistake, he doesn’t forget it like that. He learns from it and becomes a better person.


You make a mistake and people remember you. If you do a good thing your name last only for a moment on people’s lips. Even if it becomes a history, it doesn’t vanish. Sometimes its weight is more than you can hold. Sometimes it destroys even the dreams you once had. But it cannot destroy your inner self.

He wasn’t near but I felt him.

“Knew more; understood less. Gained skills, not wisdom.”

She buried her face in her fragile hands and cried. No one knew what was wrong. She didn’t speak.


You cannot hate a person you once liked. Love can’t let you hate or even forget him. You can’t just pretend; truth cannot be denied. Love and hatred are two different entities.

Some strong person survive through the hard times. But the really emotionally weak people find drugs as their means because that is the only means he can grasp. They can lie high up in air forgetting the truth for a while but the reality is harder. Harder and more painful. They then get killed by the force of the original suffering and self hatred and regret.

Everyone carries his own worth. You can’t take him for granted.

Not many people like to be cared. They feel they are being bothered.

I didn’t want to live with the seemingly OK reasons.

I can stand it. I have been through more.

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