How I hate official dinners...mainly because, I can never take it as natural. I can never bring out my true self in the gathering of officials I cannot take to be showing natural selves too.
As the guests part, a host says to me, 'I think you didn't enjoy.' I told her that I did enjoy and I couldn't eat much because just before the dinner, I had noodles in town. That is true. I did.
As the people blabber, I quietly smile to myself and wonder what truth there is in so much chatter that people utter just so that they could be marked wise. In truth, I know, they would rather prefer to talk of wine and women, of pleasure and sex, or rather, of accumulated wealth and success. But, I do enjoy listening to all these talks. They simmer inside me only to come out without much effect.
Some people mark me talkative -- but they are people who know me, who I have come to trust as good friends, to whom I can open my heart and not worry it will melt only to be hurt. And these are people with whom I can talk the whole night or laugh my lungs out. But official dinners! Man, I really hate it when I have to sit in attention, look here and there in wide eyes, or in fake smiles, just because, there is nothing else I feel good about, or natural about.
I know this is a good chance to build relationship, to make acquaintance -- for this helps us get our work done. Everyone says, 'ngo shey drin shey' and it does work wonders, but when you have to fake, man, my heart cry out too loud and there is nothing else I know better but to smile.