What you shouldn’t say to a mother
I must admit on
the onset that despite my effort to be the best mother, I had had incidents
where my daughter fell down from the bed, from the stairs and so on. Yesterday,
she ran out of the bath and slipped on the floor – and hurt her head so badly.
It scared me. It scared her daddy more because he blamed me that I had not
taken any precaution, knowing that the floor was slippery. She has this habit.
For sheer mischief, she runs away when she has finished her bath and knows that
I am going to wrap her in a towel.
I cuddled her
and stroked her hair, soothing her, consoling her that it will be okay. She
stopped after a while. Children soothe much faster than adults. They forget
hurt way quicker as well. This relieved me. There was no swelling, and she
didn’t seem to hurt when I touched the area that was hit.
My husband’s
repeated reminder to me is that it is very risky for children to hit their
head. It could lead to any undesirable long-term effect. I am aware of that
too. And it is not that mothers don’t try what they could to protect their
children. Mothers know in their heart what their children want and they have a
dream of how they want them to be grown. So, when someone blames them for not
being good mothers, or when someone tells them that the way they tend their
children isn’t perfect, they don’t welcome it well. And I would think it is
only right to receive it that way.
It is not
ingratitude that they expect after all the sacrifices they make – from the
moment they conceive, to the day they are on their own. In fact, mothers worry
about their children even after that.
A friend of mine
rightly pointed out that it is perceived that children have more accidents when
they are with their mothers because they are with them almost all the time. It
is only at rare times that their dads play with them, and it is not surprising
that they should have no undesirable surprises of accidents and commotion. I
don’t want to generalize this, but if I must make this judgment based on my
friends (90% of us have children aged 5 and below at this time), it is true.
Anyway, next
time you are about to point out the wrong to a mother who happens not to be
quick enough to stop her child from falling down, stop yourself. It is not what
she wants to hear at that moment.
Comments
on the otherhand i also feel that fathers says so out of love for the children and not necessarily to blame....
I know that painful moment. The heart stopping moment when our child get hurts. I am clumsy and my girl is hyper, which makes a very bad combination. Everytime my little heart falls I get my share from my wife. She will shout at me because she spends the whole day with her and there is no case and as soon as I reach home everything begins to happen.
When accidents are minor I am silent, but when she gets big swellings and bleeding I lose my cool and beg of her loudly to stop accusing me because accidents happen by accident. Scolding me or anybody won't help the child anyway. I tell her that even i get broken then the child gets hurt and by shouting at me she is only making me feel worse.
But When My wife is responsible I just run to my daughter and attend to the injuries and also console my wife side by side because she has weak heart and I don't want her to panic and cry.
But I know sometimes we can't help, it takes lots of reflections. I am just happy to know that your angel is fine. Don't worry children fall and rise...
I hope things are well now.
Love
Yeshi