The choice that you make
I was 20. I had not delved in the thought of marriage, despite being in love. When you fall in love, you don’t question many things: you don’t ask whether the person is a doctor or an engineer; you don’t ask whether the person is from Tashigang or Paro; you don’t ask how much his parents’ earnings are. Moreover, despite the common saying that the face is the window to the soul, face doesn’t carry more than 40% weightage. That is to say, when you fall in love, you do without much knowledge of the person. (But at least in my case, the command a person has over his written language gives me a very strong pull).
Now, some would call that fate (Abi namshi gi kay thawa as Sharchops say). Some might have a different theory altogether – such as how one subconsciously makes all the judgments based on his/her experience. I prefer to go by the popular saying that ‘love is blind’. In fact, I don’t see why we would need so many reasons as to why we love someone. Our heart knows best what our rational reasoning doesn’t.
So, yes, I was in love. At such age, you tend to drive into confusion because of the different things you hear from boys; the different things your elders make you believe, and the different things your peers prejudice over. But at the end, your heart always wins – and you have to be brave enough to follow it. I was in love with a humble guy who was going to be a physiotherapist. I had seen him thrice before the proposal came, but when the time came for me to make my decision, I had forgotten how he looked. So I braved my heart.
A doctor to be asked, ‘would you prefer a physiotherapist to a doctor?’ I could surely have sworn on his face, but I did not.
In the course of your time, as you grow up, you will be confused about many things. But the best thing you can do is to believe in yourself, and follow your heart. Don’t give up if someone said that what you believed was not what everyone believed. And to those who have crossed that threshold and wonder if the marrying-age has passed, don’t marry someone because he is rich, or because he is good-looking. In my opinion trusting these qualities to buy you love is the worst thing you can do to yourself. So, grow up.