It would be better merely to suffer as I had in the past, when other people I loved ha left me. It would be better just to lick my wounds and I had also done in the past. For a while, I will think obsessively about her, I will become embittered, I will bore my friends because all I ever talk about is my wife leaving me. I will try to justify what happened, spend days and nights reviewing every moment spent by her side. I will conclude that she was too hard on me, even though I always tried to do my best. I will find other women who could be her. I will suffer day and night, night and day. This could take weeks, months, possibly a year or more. Until one morning, I will wake up and find I’m thinking about something else, and then I will know the worst is over. My heart might be bruised, but it will recover, and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more. It has happened before, it will happen again, I’m sure. When someone leaves, it is because someone already is about to arrive – I will find love again.
I was sure of my love for Esther and yet I easily fell in love with other women, merely because the game of seduction is the most interesting game in the world. Had I shown my wife that I loved her? Perhaps for a while, but not always. Why? Because I didn’t think it was necessary; she must know I loved her; she couldn’t possibly doubt my feelings.
To my surprise, neither of them is wearing a dress with provocative décolletage.
If the blow comes, it comes. It can only lay down on the canvas, it can knock me out cold, but one day I will recover.
Fundamental questions of life will never be answered, and that we can, nevertheless, still go forward.
He explained to me that suffering occurs when we want people to love us in the way we imagine we want to be loved, and not in the way that love should manifest itself – free and untrammeled, guiding us with its force and driving us on.
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