The Shoes of ‘the’ Man

I vaguely remember reading a saying that the shoes that a man wears shows his personality. And when I challenged to write about the pair of shoes that one of my friends was wearing at an official gathering yesterday afternoon, I did not know that there would be so many articles on shoes and how they are linked to the personalities of the wearers. I typed, ‘shoes show the personality of a man’ on google and it says ‘About 145,000,000 results’.

Anyway, it was by way of casual conversation that we talked about shoes suddenly. This person sat next to me, his legs crossed over one another, his shoes prominently visible at the hem of his Army uniform. My friend (a woman) sitting on the left of me remarked, ‘what kind of shoes are these?’ I must confess that I am not sure what she really meant – and what in or of the shoes really struck her. But I took out my phone and took a picture of them and challenged that I would write about it. And I said it nonchalantly without any thought of what I would write about that can be connected to shoes. And today, I think I would write more about the person wearing them than the shoes themselves.

I looked up around 4 articles on google to check if there are descriptions of personalities linked to shoes similar to the ones that my friend wore and I found two. One of the articles titled, ‘What His Favorite Shoes Say About What Kind of Boyfriend He'll Be’,  says, “he’s a little bit moody, he’s a little bit broody, and he will definitely have a sex playlist that reflects both those traits. You just don’t wear lumberjack-y boots if you don’t actively fantasize about living in a secluded pine forest with nothing but your whisky and a loyal retriever to keep you company. Will he let you into the musty log cabin of his heart? Time will tell. But his escapism is only romantic for like, three months before you want something more.” The second one titled ‘What your Favourite Shoes Say About your Personality’, it says, “Rather than live impulsively, you’re very analytical in your approach to life, and prefer to have a strategy. This way, you’re always prepared for what comes next and you never have to worry about unforeseen obstacles.” “…..He is grounded, very practical, and always has a plan. This person never moves without a plan and is always thinking two or three steps ahead.”

I will not try to analyze either of the articles but I think if I were to describe him, not based on the shoes he wears or wore yesterday but from the one month interaction I had with him, he is ‘in the now’ person. I think by the second week we were together, I heard a few people tell me that he is a person who does not have to worry about anything – like the majority of us have to. And I think by that, they meant, he does not have to worry about not having enough money, or having to support a relative or his own children financially. And that set a barrier for me. I mean, I have this phobia – kind of the unseen force that stops me from interacting naturally with people who I think are affluent and has not seen life the way the like of me has. But I think his personality, his ability to find joy in the present, his naturalness of flowing with circumstance affected me so much that much of the barrier kind of shed off.

He probably never had to worry about money, but being human, he has gone through his own share of hardships. He got divorced in his 20s, and never got to raise his own son. Then he lost his wife in the mid 40s. He talks to you about it and you can feel, see and hear the love they shared – in his eyes and in the tone of his voice. And you begin to see inside of him and not who or what kind of family he comes from. And I think it is also this hardship – losing a loved one immaturely and escaping a near death experience of a gun fire as an Army Officer soon after losing his wife that gave him the will to fight, and also the will to live – with zeal and fire that we do not see every day. It is his ability to forget everything else and immerse himself in the ‘moment’ that gives you shivers. I think it is also this that makes you want to love him, maybe not as a lover, but as a friend who can tell you that it is okay to let your guard down once in a while and let out the innermost part of your heart to find joy in the moment.

And if you are to see him from the way he dresses, including shoes, I think he is immaculate. I think he also takes effort to make himself look good, maybe not because he wants to appear well to impress someone but because it helps him feel good about himself. And I think his habit of smoking, frequently at that, is his only flaw (maybe). It may not be to many others though. But despite that, I think he believes in the law of interdependence strongly. There are times when he explains it more fluently and enthusiastically than a practitioner would. There are also times when he praises himself, more in jest. But he also has the ability to start a conversation with anyone on the first meeting. And yet, he could do it without appearing in the least flirtatious. He also has his own principles of what basic courtesy of human means and how it is important in everyday life, no matter who we meet and where. And if a woman clings onto him beyond his liking, I think he wouldn’t hesitate to let her know that he is not for her. So he is a man all in himself.