And so I change

-
Something is terribly going wrong somewhere. I'm not doing something right. Am I not committing myself enough for what I should? Am I not following the thumb rule of how life should be lived?

What is going wrong and where? I wish I knew this. Then I would know what exactly I must do and how.

I think I have taken things for granted for so long. I think I have depended on faith so heavily for my entire life. I think it is time I found a better way to look for meaning in life. I think it is time I knew where I should begin. And it is time, I knew what I want. Even when I have my love next to me, hugging me, and telling me, 'it is okay,' I know, it isn't totally all right. It is time I got serious.

And with this, I change. And with this I will fight stronger than I ever willed.


.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thank you Acho

-
I grew up in a farm. When I say farm, it is not as in the context of a farm in the developed western countries. Bhutan is a small country, landlocked between India and China. More than 70% of our people depend on agriculture -- the subsistence farming. I was born into a couple who made their living from subsistence farming. I was born as the youngest of the seven children. My elder brothers and sisters had to go through hardship: helping our father cut wood, get firewood, sell fruits, etc. But I being the youngest didn't have to go through all this hardship they did. My eldest brother, who did not get to go to school, saw education as a very important tool to live in the world that was changing fast. My second elder brother did not get to go to school either. But both of them looked for opportunities to learn to read and write and thus, on their own interest and effort, they did learn to read and write. And then one day, my eldest brother helped him run away from home to the c...
Read more

This is Bhutan

-
Image
I moved to Adelaide, South Australia 10 months ago. This decision was driven by my belief that family has to be together and pursuing your career or following an ambition should not come at the cost of it. I made this decision knowing that it wouldn’t be easy – that, I may not have a regular office job that I am used to. Yet, as I do the manual shift jobs that I have taken, I find myself talking to myself that I would be contributing better by doing what I am good at; what I have so many years of experience in. But this is not what I was meaning to write about.   Most of the people I met do not know about Bhutan. They haven’t heard about it. They ask in uncertain voice, ‘Bhutan…?’ On top of that, saying my name is very difficult. They even ask me if I have an easier name that they can call me by. So, the other day, I told my four-year-old son that maybe I should call myself Kel from my initial K.L. and he was like, no mummy, your name is Kuenzang. And I agree. This is the reason th...
Read more

Your time comes when you are ready

-
Thoughts have been rushing through me and they were just overwhelming. I didn’t know where to start and I aways pushed back. It is always when I am in the shower that there are ideas rushing out, sentence weaving on – and then when I am done with the shower, there is no time for me to sit down and write them down. So, they never found their life. I am hoping today will be a beginning to being what I have aways been – pouring my heart bare in words and letting that do the healing.  I haven’t even thought of what title I would give it. I just have to get them out or they will keep making rounds in my head until they haunt me. I think they will come into a series because I don’t like the writing to be too long. So, I will begin first from 2017 when our circle of friends started moving to Australia.  Some of our contemporaries will remember what we used to have called a nopkin.com. It was an online blog that our friend Sangay Tenzin (fondly known as Nopkin) started where people co...
Read more