Friday, November 23, 2007

Changing with Thoughts

Following is an article by Tenday in www.nopkin.com and my my comment on the article follows:

Changing Thoughts changing with Changing Times


When Sonam was a little girl, she always thought she would marry the first guy she meets in her life. But when she reached her teens, she broadened her thinking little bit for she understood that it was ok to go for a second if the relationship with first one doesn’t work out well, that is, as long as the girl remains a virgin. She crossed her teens and then she didn’t care how many boy friends a girl changes and that too for as long as they didn’t spent a night together. By then living together kind of relationship was not uncommon. And so when she met her first boyfriend, she got very scared when he first asked her to spend a night with him.

She refused so many times because she had many fears as well as so many ‘what if (s)’. She was more worried about what the society might say about her if they finds out. But after being in a relationship for a year, she finally agreed to sleep with him. For few months, it haunted her and she began to worry even more and always said to herself that she should marry him and him only, by any means and no matter what. They are in the relationship for two years and they are still not married to each other. But one interesting thing was that she does not have that kind of fear any longer. Rather, she is able to say what if this relationship doesn’t work out well, she won’t have a hesitation to go for a second and then third, forth and so on. She does not care about anyone. But what has become to her principle in life? What about her morality? And most importantly, where is the civility?
My Comment on the article:
Yes people change with time. In fact, though we say, it is time that changes, it isn’t. An hour always has 60 seconds. A day always has 24 hours. The hand of the second and minute in a clock moves with the same speed.

But everyday a new thought arises in the minds of people. Everyday a new invention is made. Everyday a new commodity is in market. Everyday a new child is born. And an adaptation has to be made to suit that change that is brought forth with new ideas, inventions, and trends. Principles cannot remain rigid rock – but the adaptation to change has to be in the range of reasonable limit.

Her principle might have stood strong in the mind of Sonam when she was young but she changed it when she grew. But you see, though you have portrayed that principle in Sonam changed to the extent of not minding get laid as many times as it was possible, I would argue that the principle of a person doesn’t change overnight from the point of A to Z in a blink of an eye. What a person values doesn’t lose its value with the change of time. If the ocean runs dry, maybe then the pearls might lie bare but its value would remain the same.

Exceptions could be there. But like I wrote few days back, ten years ago you were you. And even ten years later you will be you.

I would say, a person who cannot respect his/her principle with time isn’t really sure if it is what she values.

Oh man, you see, gossip isn’t of how kind you are. Gossip usually is about who you were with for dinner last night, who you were rumored to have slept with few days back, who you were seen going for a movie with last Saturday and so on – and this gossip corrodes every smooth edge of morality. But what you value should remain fixed in your conscience and when you are walking: your destination has to be transfixed before your eyes.


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Different Views

I ain't feeling so good today. It isn't the hangover. No, I do not drink.

Did I sound cold to my friend? He told me he thought I wasn't feeling well.
But, well...I was normal.

Some different views. I wasn't angry. I couldn't disagree either.
I thought I wasn't doing wrong by what I was doing.
It was only my interest and there was no harm intended.
No, not for anyone.

Love? I don't know if love shared between men and women and love parents have for their children are same. Ask him. I don't know really. I'm incapable of any thought. I am sinking deeper into some souless dream.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Trip to Gasa (10-13 November, 2007)


In the tent: Getting ready to go to Gasa school for the 11th
November Celebration




With Karma, my husband on the way to Gasa.


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

But why?


“I want you to know that I don’t want to chat with you anymore…” Don’t want to chat anymore?

Good friends don’t say goodbye like that, do they? I guess it is true that, “Oftentimes we say goodbye to the one we love without wanting to, though that doesn't mean that we stopped loving them or we stopped to care. Sometimes, goodbye is a painful way to say I love you.”

Many years we have been good friends and when smog of uncertain reason came up in his head I had no choice but to retrace my path back and hold my heart in my own hands.
I trusted his judgment and I didn’t want to ask questions about who was right and who was wrong. I thought he chose the path he did because he knew it was good for him. What right did I have to interrupt and put my perception in him? I was only a person who held little brain and human heart. I had nothing else to offer him. Nothing.

Years of friendship ended before my eyes. It came crumbling down and not a trace was left. No we didn’t hold grudge. There was no sense of revenge swelling up in our mind. We simply said goodbye and goodbye it was.

Silent Teardrops

I held his hand and turned my back towards him. I didn’t want to voice my response to his talks. I thought I should just remain silent.

He took his hand and turned his back towards me, hurt. I thought he was only pretending to be hurt, wanting me to baby-talk and love him. Of course I did that – I took his hand in mine and asked him to hold me close to him.

Even as he said “I love you,” tears fell down my cheeks. One of his hands lay on my chest but, sleep was already taking him to a painless dream and he didn’t feel sigh and sob heaving my chest in heavier pain.

I felt the cold teardrops in my ears now. I wanted him to hold me and love me like I was his new found treasure. I wanted him to love me like I was the only one. And I wanted him to need me like I was his only happiness.

There wasn’t anything I could point to as the cause of my tears. But I guess not a single heart is made to tolerate the capacitance of a load that it cannot carry.

I silently consoled myself over the silent teardrops and pleaded sleep to take away my pain.

Design of Life

I didn’t think I would hear of death this morning before anything else – even before I had my breakfast. You mean, my neighbor who I walked with not a month ago is not on earth anymore?

A deer barked at midnight. Was it midnight already? But why was a lone deer barking? Ana Sonam said it wasn’t a healthy sound but plead of an injured animal. As she prayed, she asked another friend if they should go and look for it. The sound didn’t come from very far. It wasn’t barking. It was crying. Each time we heard it, a splinter of pain ran through our hearts. I silently sank in my sleeping bag and caught my heart in my hand and prayed that it wasn’t being chased by a predator or was got into a trap.

We were in Gasa, sleeping cramped in a tent. But this wasn’t life we were leading forever. We had only come for a holiday. But the deer’s bark? The death of my friend? It wasn’t a choice they had made out of fun. That night, I wished life were designed a little way different – like – I wished the food chain wasn’t as it is. I wished the interdependence wasn’t designed in a way of having to depend on another’s life for one’s survival. I wished we (all organisms) were interdependent only in the sense of having to seek help and help others, but not in a matter of sustaining a life. How this shredded my heart in thousand pieces. If every piece were a mirror, you really would have seen the pain of having to accept life as it is.

Yes, this neighbor I know, she was fine just a month back. When I wondered why her car never moved from where it was parked, I knew she was taken ill and was diagnosed leukemia. And now today, I hear that she passed away. What is all this truth telling me? What is it trying to tell me to do? When I talked to my mother about it, she told me that it is the youngsters who have to be aware of death because old people already are and they are always chanting mani. Yes, it is the younger lot who haven’t time to think of death. But when it silently asks for our heart, we have to give it. It doesn’t beg and it isn’t in our hand to say no. It asks and we give. This is how life is designed. Her death left me wondering and thousands of questions still linger in my mind. I haven’t any answer. It had me shocked but I know I will have no time to seek answers when death takes me. So I have only now.

Life isn’t unfair, you are. Fate isn’t cruel your heart is - for you are your own creator of happiness and sadness. (14th November, 2007, Wednesday)